I’ve always prided myself with being a very honest person…a little too honest at times however something I’d never realised was that I was never good at being honest with myself, until a few months ago anyway.
It’s a weird feeling when you finally realise that you’re only doing things to please others and you yourself are infact unhappy. This happened to me around August last year, I’d felt down for a while but blamed work, my living situation…basically anything but myself.
The turning point was actually hearing that someone liked me, how ridiculous is that?…I mean I’d been in a relationship for over three years so I should have already felt that someone liked me in that way…right? well that is exactly the thought that went through my mind, and sadly I realised I didn’t feel that I was liked or appreciated and hadn’t felt that way for a very long time, so why was I still in this stagnant relationship?…simply because it was convenient?…things had to change.
It was very hard ending the relationship, not because I had doubts about if I was doing the right thing…mainly because I had been there before, on a couple of occations and was always guilted into staying…not really a valid reason to continue seeing someone so I decided this was the last time.
You wouldn’t believe the weight that was lifted from my shoulders afterwards, I knew I needed to change things but had no idea that I would feel so much better for doing so, for the first time in a very long time I was happy…and excited about the future.
The next couple of months was tough, I was still living under the same roof as my ex, at first things were amicable but it eventually turned sour as money inevitably became an issue but I perservered and found myself a little place to live, I lost a lot in the break up but nothing important to me, nothing that couldn’t be replaced.
I was finally out of a bad situation and looking forward to all that lay ahead!
x
